From everything I've read and heard, language training can be a rather psychotic process, taking those involved from the highs of delivering that perfectly conjugated and complex sentence to the lows of saying, basically, "Uhhhhhhhh...." in front of your teacher and classmates when faced with answering the simplest of questions. I've even heard that there will be times of both loving and hating not only yourself, but also your teacher and your classmates.
So my question to you all is this: Is five days too soon to be feeling my first low? 'Cause I really like my language class; in fact, all my life I've wanted to be at least somewhat fluent in a language, any language and this is currently my singular J-O-B! So what's going on? Those of you who know me, know that being verbal is an intrinsic part of me; I rarely have an unexpressed thought, truth be told. I process information and organize my thoughts externally, verbally, and so to be shackled to my limited Spanish vocabulary is already turning out to be terribly frustrating. Mix in doses of stage fright and my overriding desire to excel at whatever I undertake and you get: "Uhhhhhhhh...."
But it seems to be worse than just Spanish failing me lately. I had my one-on-one with my teacher today after class and tried to explain to him that the blank expression he may enounter when he asks me a simple pregunta isn't so much due to my searching for the words in Spanish - I can't even think of anything to say in English either! Yes - I know - ME at a loss for words! I've concluded that there is a short in the language sector, probably a blown fuse. It works that way at home, right? You know, when you plug in the vacuum while the space heater is on and suddenly a fuse blows out all sorts of unrelated outlets and lights. What I'm getting at is that when the Spanish sector blew, it took with it some of my English vocabulary, and seemingly there was collateral damage in the intelligence and confidence quadrants, too.
I can't exactly call a technician to repare this problem, so I've turned on Caliente: Latin Tropical Music on TV and have settled onto the couch to watch some more episodes of Destinos, drill some verbs with Conjugemos and generally try to get back to at least vaguely functional en mi nuevo idioma.
I'm excited to think of what two years of living and working in this language will do for me. And later, maybe we can bid on a second post in the Spanish-speaking world and finally, triumphantly return to FSI as a 3/3!
(Only to be sent to Latvia for post three and have the fun begin anew, right?)
Okay, I think this is all I can muster tonight and besides, I need to hit the books.
Esa es vale la pena, verdad?