The Tabbies Speak Out

The Tabbies have requested a moment to speak about their views of their new home, and seeing as this blog is named after them - we thought it only fair. I promised to transcribe their thoughts, and perhaps add an explanatory comment or two.

Things we like about being wherever we are, which frankly, we're not too sure about:
(I've showed them the map; it's right there on the wall, but they kept saying, "What's South? What's America? What's 'not Washington'?")

• The weather is pretty good for those of us with luxurious coats. Not too hot (like that last place we were where we had to have that machine in the wall buzzing all day to keep us cool!) and not too cold and we haven't had to get wet going outside. Okay, we haven't been able to go outside at all, but at least we're staying dry and clean. These are very important qualities in a new home.
• We have an entire bathroom just for us! Dad even mentioned something about just filling up the entire shower stall with sand and calling it a litter box, which would be really cool and sooo spacious! The sand we have must be the fanciest in the world; well, that's what Mom keeps saying, and she adds, "It better be at $2 per pound!" She even mentioned something about, "For these prices, we should recycle it!" We're certain she's kidding - that would just be gross.
• The food we have is also the best in the world because it comes straight from the Amazon jungle. It's so exotic! (I don't have the heart to tell them the food is the same they've always had, and it's actually from Amazon.com....)
• Dodger: We have this huge shower that I jump into and drink from every morning! And, it washes all the dirt off my paws - really! You can see for yourself how clean my paws are now because I leave my wet, dirty prints in the shower and on the bathroom floor, and sometimes I even jump on the bed to get the last of it all dried off on the comforter. There's so much less cleaning work for me now!
• Toby: And I love having three shower stalls to pee in now! Did you know that cat urine cleans tile grout, too? And Mom just turns on the water and washes it all down, which saves on that fancy litter. I'm ecologically-minded, for sure.
• Dodger: You did WHAT in my shower?
• Daphne: I don't have to share my couch space anymore as we finally have armchairs for each of us AND a couch. This living is befitting a lady of my age and status.

Okay, we have to mention a few things that we're not quite used to yet:

• Dodger: There's a lot more thunder and lightning down here, which is just not cool.
• Daphne: And there are these huge birds, bigger than eagles, that fly in circles over the hills near our window. When I see those birds, I know the only safe place is under the bed. I'm no fool!
• All: These wood floors make our toys go so fast across the room! And when we run around the corners, well, it's really hard to get traction (...and really funny...).
• Toby: The couches are tall enough that we can retrieve our own toys! I can even get UNDER the couch now and sneak up on my sister (...also really funny...).
• Mom keeps promising that our tower and scratcher will arrive soon. Something about being in a warehouse for months already - it seems to make her sort of mad to talk about it. 

We'd love to hear from our other FS cat friends: Boots, Mugsy, Bill - anyone?

Thank you for listening; this is the end of our tale.